


Kings! Kings! Everywhere A King!

by psychomachia



Category: Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, Fate/strange fake, K (Anime), ロード・エルメロイⅡ世の事件簿 - 三田誠 | Lord El-Melloi II Case Files - Sanda Makoto
Genre: Crossover, Epistolary, Gen, Magical Shenanigans, The Fate/ Mages Association Tries to Deal with the Magical Wish-Granting Dresden Slate, The Universe Hates You
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-08 03:46:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20300086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychomachia/pseuds/psychomachia
Summary: Strange stones lying around distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.





	Kings! Kings! Everywhere A King!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [scribblemyname](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scribblemyname/gifts).

> For those not familiar with K, basically there's a giant magical rock that can give people powers and turn them into Kings. They then can give lesser powers to the people they recruit, based on what type of King they are. 
> 
> For those not familiar with the Fateverse, the magical world is full of bullshit and plotting, Flat has a lot of power to make up for his complete lack of common sense, and Waver Velvet is probably the only person that actually cares about teaching.

_To Bram Nuada-Re Sophia-Ri,_

Before we get into who is exactly to blame for this potentially calamitous situation and exactly which heads need to roll, we need to establish a few things.

1\. The artifact that has come into our possession is incredibly dangerous and powerful, and should it fall into hands that are not sympathetic to our side, we would be a great disadvantage. Hence, it should remain as close to us as possible.  
2\. While I understand that certain branches of the Association believe it would be better in a more controlled environment, I also understand that they are incompletely incapable of maintaining such an environment to my satisfaction. So you may relay to them that we are refusing to turn it over until they can prove otherwise.  
3\. We found it first. Finders keepers. They can try to take it away from us, but given that we've already got one King on our side, I would welcome the challenge.

I do agree with your other concerns, particularly as it relates to the ones chosen as Kings, and their suitability for the role. But let's face it. It's going to be entertaining and he won't say no.

Yours truly,

_Reines El-Melloi Archisorte_

* * *

_Reines_

Well, you don't have to attend the meetings. I do. And if you thought when you appointed him as Lord in your place that they were angry, they are positively apoplectic now. Expect that the murder attempts will increase, though I'm sure you already have measures to deal with them. I know you don't want to lose your investment.

Good news for you, however. Those that don't wish to kill us all are in the process of trying to ingratiate themselves to us. There's a rumor going around that anyone he selects for his classes, at the very least, will become more powerful than any of the other students. I have not attempted to dissuade this rumor, so I do expect some compensation for it. Granted, it may actually be true.

_Bram_

* * *

_Bram,_

Oh, it's true. Two more Kings have manifested from his class, and while the Tohsaka head may be in the same position as us, i.e. trying to revive a family decimated by the Grail War, the Edelfelt head is a good catch. Both can be said to be nominally sympathetic to us, and I would suspect that their sudden rise in stature may increase their affinity for their instructor, and therefore, us. And if they contain themselves to trying to destroy each other, it will be most amusing.

Also, he is utterly miserable. I cannot imagine what would be worse for him than this.

_Reines_

* * *

_Bram_,

Never mind. It can get worse.

_Reines_

* * *

_Reines El-Melloi Archisorte_,

I'm not dealing with this.

I quit. You can kill me or string me up by my heels or send me off to be dissected in the tower, but I refuse to deal with this mess anymore.

Flat Escardos is a King now. How? What evil force would do this?

I discovered it this morning when I came into the hall to find him floating above my head, shouting “Professor!” Given my research, that can only mean that he possesses the Silver Aura, which means I can't even kill him for this. Clearly, whatever criteria the Slate uses to choose its Kings is based on what will drive me mad the quickest.

Thank God, some of my students remain unaffected. I do find it mildly ironic that Gray was not chosen, but perhaps given her background, the Slate felt it might be redundant. She is perfectly content with the situation as well. Svin whines a little about it, but I can only imagine how much property would be destroyed if he was one too.

(And fuck, I do not need Flat asking him to be his clansman. The two of them fighting in mid-air--)

So I'm letting you know that I'm going to find a way to destroy all of this and regain my sanity.

Sincerely,

_Lord El-Melloi II_

* * *

_Brother_,

No. You're not quitting. You do remember your promise to make all of this up to us, right?

Besides I don't think you can walk away from being a King.

Deal with it.

_Reines_

* * *

_Reines_,

I don't want to be a King. There is only one King I will ever recognize, and I cannot compare to him. That the Slate would do this seems something even you might find breathtakingly cruel. Or not. You'd probably find it a horrifically appropriate punishment.

Fine, so I can't quit. But that means the Association will just have to deal with doing things my way. Let them come after me. My class is more than prepared. 

_Lord El-Melloi II_

* * *

_Lord El-Melloi II,_

Reines tells me you've currently ascertained the whereabouts of five of the Kings, including yourself. While we are unclear as to whom the other two might be, I believe we have discovered the fifth one. He proved to be incredibly elusive, but has agreed to come to London to hear us out.

And by us, I mean you.

Please let us know if he is truly the fifth one and ascertain whether his loyalty can be swayed to us.

_Bram Nuada-Re Sophia-Ri_

* * *

_Bram Nuada-Re Sophia-Ri,_

Yes.

To both questions? Perhaps. Sigma, as he prefers to be called, is a nice change from my other students in that he actually listens and seems to respect me. He is disturbingly reminiscent of someone I once talked to a long time ago, and the fact that he instantly seemed to connect with Gray is not doing favors for my sanity.

Still, yes, he has an Aura and he doesn't seem to want to be involved in petty mage bureaucracy, so call it a win and move on.

I, on the other hand, have to deal with Flat's increasing enthusiasm for rushing headlong into perilous situations, knowing that he'll somehow always come back. The universe could have not designed a more perfectly troublesome and dangerous combination. I have no idea where he is now. I can only pray he''s not doing something insanely stupid. 

_Lord El-Melloi II_

* * *

_Professor_,

Sorry, I kind of ditched you and ran off. I know you're not talking to me now, but I'm sorry and you'll want to hear this because I found another King!

His name's Jack and I'm sure you'll get along great!

_Flat_


End file.
